So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
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You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
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Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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