the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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