please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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