i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
