That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I smell like Dick and happiness
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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