Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
