I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
