I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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