Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
