She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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