Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
