Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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