This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
