Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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