she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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