You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
