Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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