I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
