laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
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She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
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I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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