I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
