you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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