Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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