I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
