Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All I want is dick and wine.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
