So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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