is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
