YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
