considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
