Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I stole a fireplace last night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
