The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
