I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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