she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
