Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
