You can't special order awesome
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
