Your dad touched me again.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
