He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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