I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
