we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
MIDGETS
????
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
