soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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