I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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