how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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