If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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