I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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