Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
