So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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