Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
