Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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