Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize