Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my shit smells like andre
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
