id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
