it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
