when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
