I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
my liver is dry heaving
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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