Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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