i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
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Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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