need another drink. this is the easiest way
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
