I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
