i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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