Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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