**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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